I don't carry a camera all the time, but I see the world in potential photographs.
Right.
'Cause a photograph is really a moment, that's all.
It doesn't matter whether you've got a camera or not, the photo is still there.
- It's hard to explain. - Yes.
Like if time had never been invented, it would still be five past nine.
- Right. Actually, it's quarter to ten. - Is it?
Fucking thing!
- Is that enough? - Yes.
Although surrounded by gently undulating motorways,
Winchester is only 75 miles from London by both rail and train.
For everyone who commutes to London from here each day,
there's another who does as well.
But there are those whose choices have taken them in a direction less conventional.
I see them every morning going to the station with their mobile phones,
and I think, "Good luck to them," but basically, "No, thanks, José!"
- Do you want milk? - Yes, please.
Will is a freelance photographer.
My life isn't perfect now,
but I couldn't go back to an office and in a suit, not now.
I took a risk, but at the end of every day,
I can put my hand on my head and say I know who I am.
- 0K? - Maybe a bit more.
Until five years ago, he had a well-paid job at the county council,
but then he made a decision which changed his life completely.
I thought, "This isn't a rehearsal, this is the real play,
"and who knows what the script's about?" so I thought...
- 0h, I spilt some. I can't get any more in. - That's fine, thanks.
So I thought, "What did I want to be when I was 16? What happened to that?"
- What did you want to be? - Me? Ajournalist or broadcaster.
What happened to that?
My thing has always been photography.
- Where did that come from? - I don't know.
- I've always had an eye. - That must help.
It was a huge risk walking away from a secure planning job.
- What was it you planned? - The future really.
- This is Emma. - Don't, Will.
Come on, don't be shy.
- Emma's the lodger. - I see.
- Yes. - Yes.
Having decided to take the plunge five years ago, Will had to rethink his life,
so his studio is at the top of the house, converted from a waste of space.
- Here we are. - Right.
- This is where it all happens. - I see. Nice and light.
Light's important for me. It's like sound is to a blind person.
Yes. So you've got lodgers?
0ne lodger, Emma. She's an art student, interested in photography. Handy really.
Yes, it must be.
Nice girl.
There are months when her rent is more important than she realises.
Still, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Do you smoke?
- No, thanks. - Never thought of starting?
Not really. Why?
It might help. I shouldn't really, I hate it.
When Will decided to change his life, he and his wife, Roz, separated.
I said, "This is something I've gotta do. I owe it to myself."
- How did she react? - It was amicable.
We agreed to go our separate ways, but I don't think she understood really.
- My father was a dentist. - Right. And you had two children?
- Yeah. - How did they react?
It wasn't so bad for them, they already left home.
- They'd gone away to university? - Yep.
Yeah.
I respect him for what he's done.
- What has he done? - Most people his age have boring lives.
The wife, the kids, the job, 2.4 cars, gerbils.
But Will's like, "No! I'm not having that.
"It's not enough." He's got rid of all of it.
- Do you know how old he is? - Well...
He's 41! It's amazing, isn't it? I don't think of him as that old.
- I don't either. - He's still up for life, that's what.
- I mean, these are his pants. - Right.
These are not the pants of a middle-aged guy.
- Sorry, I don't know. - No way! So, like...
...I'm very lucky. - Right... right.
(WILL) 0K. That's really nice. Something's really starting to happen.
By quarter to eleven, Will's hard at work.
I just want to suggest something now. Forget your mouth and teeth.
I want you to smile just using your eyes.
- Like this? - Yeah. Wow! That is...
Emma needs a new passport photograph after her old passport was destroyed
during a family argument.
Maybe not close your eyes altogether.
Photography chose me rather than me choosing something else
like, you know, writing.
- I love the shape of this guy's head. - Yes, that's very?
Will sees his photography as a vocation, not a way to make money at all.
There's greetings card and calendars, there's a lot of money to be made.
Sheep in the Lake District, New Forest pit ponies in Shetland.
But photography's about people.
You work in black and white a lot.
- No, that guy really was black. - Right.
- These are tight head shots. - He looks quite tense.
- Someone you know? - No, it's a model.
- Very realistic. - I asked him not to shave.
I've learnt so much from Will, not just about images but about life.
Really?
- He lets me help in the darkroom. - Right. Good.
I think really gifted people are ageless.
They're always young, like Van Morrison. Van the Van!
- What's the matter? - It's not lit.
Fucking matches!
My mum's cool about Will.
What about your father?
I'm an only child.
Oh, right.
People forget that behind every camera, there's an eye.
But behind that eye, there's a person looking through it.
Right. And they're looking through it with their other?
Something happens when a person looks at another person.
And a photograph is a record of that interaction.
Right.
- What if you lost your glasses? - I've got a second pair.
- What happens if you take them off? - What happens?
- Yeah, go on, take them off. - OK.
Yeah... no, 0K. Yeah, put them back on again.
- How can I help? - I want a good quality medium-format lens.
- Good quality? - Professional standard.
- And what price range? - £500, £600.
Very funny.
There are few professions outside artificial insemination and parachuting
where equipment is as crucial as for a photographer.
Will has decided it's time to invest in his own talent,
and at the forefront of any camera is the lens.
I could sell you rubbish if you want.
- This lens, here, 850 quid. - 850? Blimey!
If you went into a high street shop, some kid would be excited to sell you it.
It's complete rubbish. Practically useless. Like the thick end of a milk bottle.
And this one. Technica Series III, 1,100 quid.
Looks like a nice lens. Even got a nice box.
Junk! Chinese-made. I've nothing against the Chinese.
They really know their rocket launchers. But I'd happily sell you it.
The customer's always right. 1,100 quid for me!
- What lens would you? - Me? I'm different.
I'm the last person to ask. I like stuff that works.
What would you recommend?
Right. Hang on a minute.
Because he's so good, he could make lots of money doing weddings, fruit,
but he's not prepared to, it's not what he's about.
- Does he get asked to do that? - He wouldn't do it.
(WASHING MACHINE IN L0UD SPIN) That makes him Will.
- What? - Is the machine all right?
- It's always does that. It has an orgasm. - A what?
- An orgasm! - A what?
- This is why I never use the big stores. - Right... why?
- This guy really knows his stuff. - Good. Sounds very...
He's got a great chin and jaw line. Especially in profile.
- Haven't you noticed? - Well...
- Right. Here we are. It's a Nashikonica. - Nashikonica?
The F-18 set the industry standard, but this is the F-19.
- What? - Nothing.
- This is the F-19, it's better than sex! - I keep up with...
- I mean, feel the weight of it. - Yeah, yeah.
- I read all the... - Want to feel the weight? Go on.
All right, then.
Yes, that's... a nice sort of... It's right, isn't it?
- I read pretty much all the... - You've still got the cap on.
Thanks.
I read "Practical Photography" and I've not come across Nashikonica.
You read "Practical Photography"? What for?
I've got you completely wrong.
Don't point it at the light. Actually, give me that back.
I assumed you were a pro. I'm really sorry. Let's go back to Technica.
This is fine for beach shots. Sand in it will make no difference.
- How much is the Nashikonica? - That's £2,600.
For a pro it's half an hour's work with a failed actress in a see-through dress!
Is it compatible with a Hasselbad? My camera's a Hasselbad.
- Right. - Is it compatible?
- Yeah! - Right.
This used to be an airing cupboard, so I had to get rid of the mouldy air.
The darkroom is the confessional in the church of the photographer's science.
If nothing goes wrong, the fruit of Will's work will magically expose itself.
This is the tricky part, taking the film out. It's crucial there's no light of any kind.
0K, so excuse us.
- Right. - Right.
0K, so far, so good.
- Sometimes that can stick. - Really? That must be... erm...
- What are you doing? - Transferring the film from the cartridge.
- Ah! - Sorry.
Transferring it... Sorry!
Transferring it onto this spiral and into the developing tank.
- Where is that exactly? - Just over here. I'm pointing to it.
- These are my favourite. - They're certainly not middle-aged.
- They're mine. - Right, of coursel They're lovely.
Many great people didn't come into their own until the second half of their lives.
- Jimi Hendrix. - Yes... He died, though.
- But not to begin with, he didn't. - Right.
I bought him these in Southampton. Combats.
Yes, they are nice.
- Are you married? - Yes.
- Like, for real? - Yes.
- No shit! - No. Well, very little.
(WILL) I have to concentrate whilst I feed the film onto...
There's a stool to sit on just behind you.
OK, thank you.
- Careful of your... - Sorry, I missed the... Ohl
I've dropped the film! It's on the floor somewhere.
I'll help you look. Owl
- Jesus! Was that your head? - Yesl What it yours?
- Yes! - Lucky it's so hard.
- I'll find the film. - I found the stool.
- I've got it. - Oh, interestingl
- What is? - My clothes are wet.
- Wet? - It's coming from... here it is...
...this plastic container. - Where?
Here on this shelf, look. It's nearly empty.
- And it's on your clothes? - I think so. Yes.
- I think that's developing fluid. - Right. It'll dry off OK, won't it?
It's better if you and John stand at the back, Sarah.
- I think so. Come on, John. - Stop shouting, I'm a grown-up.
Patricia and Roger are approaching their 40th wedding anniversary.
Try in front again.
- Yes, we were happier with that. - (R0GER) I can't remember!
(WILL) Sarah, drop your shoulders. (J0HN) You're 10 years too late for that.
When their daughter Sarah suggested a professional portrait,
Patricia said she'd like her and her husband in it as well,
and without hesitation John disagreed.
I do portrait work to pay the bills, and it's not exciting,
but allows me to do the work I want.
In a week like this, how many appointments would you have?
- This week? - Just as an example.
This week I've got...
- It's Wednesday today? - Friday.
- So that means overall... one. - One? Right.
But that's all about to change. Has he told you about this afternoon?
- He's going for a meeting in London. - It's just a meeting.
Hey, it's an omen!
We listened to that CD last night, Emerson, Huntley and Palmer.
Oh, right.
- She might not like my work. - Yeah? How likely is that?
This won't take a second. The engineering's so precise.
- It can be a bit... - (SARAH) Is it a special lens?
Not really, it's just a Nashikonica.
- (R0GER) What did he say? - He's changing the Nishikonica lens.
- Comical lens? - 0h, Jesus Christ!
- (WILL) Sorry about this. - Not a comical lens with my legs?
- No, not comical, Dad. - These trousers are deceptive.
- It's Konica. - It's not.
- Don't bother, they're happy! - Don't talk about my parents like that!
(WILL) Shit! This doesn't seem to fit.
- Your trousers are deceptive? - They're flabby at the knees.
- But they're Marks & Spencer's. - My legs, I mean!
I took a morning off for this pantomime!
- They won't notice. - What?
- How's it going, Will? - Yeah, 0K. I'll try something else.
What about photography?
I love this part of it.
These red liquids are different kinds of chemicals?
This one's fixer. That one's developer.
- That's stop. - Oh... why?
- No, that's called stop. - Right, I seel
I noticed with the developer you used gloves.
- It's actually an acid. - I see.
- But it doesn't eat the gloves? - Not if you wash them.
It would if you left it on, obviously.
Right, 0K, let's... Yeah, that is quite a unique image.
Well, my mother had pronounced...
- Want a look? - No.
(WILL) I don't know, on me it's a bit...
Honestly, they're so cool, aren't they?
Well, erm... they look really warm.
- I imagine they'll keep out the... - Try the other one?
Perhaps with this afternoon's meeting in mind,
Emma's persuaded Will to listen to her woman's eye about his presentation.
- You'll find your feet will give with wear. - Maybe when they're done up...
- Don't do them up! That's the point! - Is it?
- Where are your toes? - In there somewhere.
Most people have at least one foot bigger than the other.
What can I say? Have a look in the mirror.
Yeah...
(EMMA) And with your combats.
Maybe if I was black?
It's like having your own personal style guru.
0ften I have to take him in hand. I don't mean sexually.
- Jesus! There's Roz, my ex-wife! - Oh? Right.
Do you and she still see anything of each?
I don't blame him. In many ways, he's a nice guy.
I feel sorry for him. He's pathetic. I actually don't think about him.
Since their divorce, Roz has reverted to her original name, Rosemary.
She now lives happily with a landscape architect outside Winchester,
and recently has built a new patio.
I feel sorry for him. For me, it was the best thing to happen.
I've just moved on. Whereas it's him I feel sorry for.
- What happened to your jacket? - Nothing.
- It must've been a hard decision. - What must?
It's the old conflict between someone's career and relationship.
You know?
Especially when the career is in the artistic field.
- What are you rambling on about? - Well, he feels...
You do know he's a failed human being?
They said that when they sacked him.
He couldn't organise a piss-up in a beer tent.
I mean, literally. He lost the plans for the county show.
The beer tent collapsed on Princess Michael. I feel sorry for him.
- Princess Michael? - No, Will.
- Princess Michael's a woman. - Of course he is.
(TANN0Y)... Eastleigh only, Southampton, Parkway only,
and Southampton only... customers for engineering works to Southampton...
An ordinary platform on an ordinary afternoon.
But Will's train will take him to a meeting that may change the course of his career,
although Will is remaining blasé about the whole thing.
It's just a meeting. They come and go.
It'll change the course of your career. You're so blasé!
- Do you go to London often? - The more successful, the more you go.
It's the way the industry works. It comes with the territory.
If things go really well, what could happen as a result?
- If she likes my work... - This is the Southampton platform.
If she likes my work, who knows what might happen.
I suppose I'd be on the map.
- 0n the night I walked out... - I seel
...I went to my parents, he followed and cried all night outside.
- That didn't change your mind? - I didn't know, it was the wrong house.
- Is it a camouflage suit? - No.
Roz and Will have two children, a grown-up daughter and juvenile son,
both in their twenties.
They've got their own lives. Jake's doing well.
His previous counsellor was a bit weird.
I've a lot to thank Will for,
because I'm at a place in my life where I'm at the centre of my feelings.
I had to live with a tosser for years to get here.
Now is the best place to aim towards.
(WAITRESS) I'm sorry about that.
- This is mustard. - Thank you. Pardon?
You've given me mustard.
We haven't got any samic vinegar.
BAL-samic vinegar.
Shall I get you some water?
- Take this away. - Right.
Thank you very much, then! Thank you!
- Can you believe that? - No.
The ticket may say London-Waterloo, but for Will this is a journey of hope.
One which many have made since the very beginning of timetables.
- I still get excited coming to London. - It's a big city.
What's that building, Will?
- Yeah, that's the Lloyd's Tower Centre. - 0h, right.
0f course, that was designed by Ted Rogers.
- Yeah, that's right. Good. - Erm?
Will wouldn't know one end of his arse if it bit him.
I'll tell you something else,
God help this young girl that's lodging with him.
She seems to know what she's doing. She's told her mother...
- Told her mother what? - Nothing.
- What did you say? - Nothing. Well, thank youl
(EMMA) What a lovely space!
(WILL) Shouldn't these be done up, I keep tripping over?
The Teale Street Gallery has gained a reputation
for bringing new talent to the attention of the art world.
It's owner, Caroline Wellesley, is particularly interested in photography.
Previous exhibitors have included several really well-known names.
- Look, Keith Richards! - It's Annie Liebowitz.
- She's got terrible teeth and skin! - No, it's by Annie Liebowitz.
- Hello, Will. Caroline Wellesley. - Hi.
I hope you didn't have trouble...
- Caroline, meet Roy. - Hello, Troy.
- Emma, who's sort of with me. - Actually it's Roy, not Troy.
- Roy Nottroy? - No, not Troy.
- Shall we go into my office? - I'll stay here, it's your moment.
- Sorry, I don't normally look like this. - Really?
- I just dropped some acid earlier. - I hope it was worth it.
I was interested in the way his ears seem to fight each other.
- A photograph should be hard to look at. - I think you've achieved that.
As well as being respected for her artistic judgement,
Caroline also has a reputation as an astute businesswoman.
- I was just experimenting. - Good grief!
I just chucked it in.
- Is that Troy? - It is.
I don't really look like that.
What I'm trying to achieve is to use the camera as a fourth eye...
Good. Right. Well.
The best way I can help any artist is by being straight about their work.
The world's full of people who don't mean what they say or say what they mean.
That does no good.
So, thank you for letting me look at your work,
but I won't suggest you exhibit at this gallery.
The most valuable thing I can do for you is to say,
on the strength of what I've seen, you have no talent at all in this field.
In terms of what you're trying to achieve, I've understood nothing you've said.
That's because you yourself are confused
about what the words and phrases you use actually mean.
0ne of the things I admire most about artists
is the courage it takes to keep self-belief alive through all setbacks.
But sometimes that self-belief is simply wrong.
In my experience, it's better just to face up to it
and stop putting yourself through this embarrassing situation...
- I'm going to have to stop you there. - What?
It... He...
We've run out of film.
For the successful, photography offers the prospect of independence,
creative fulfilment, variety, even glamour.
- So? - She's going to think about it.
0h, Will!
For the unsuccessful, it offers failure.
- She didn't make any promises. - But it's started!
You're not an anonymous name! She'll tell people about you!
They'll mention you to others, and then the word will be out!
- That's how it works, isn't it? - I didn't do art, so I...
I'm so proud of him. He's so modest.
Typical of him.
What did she actually say about his work?
Well...
Photography sits rather like a mule
between the horse of the commercial world and the donkey of the art world.
But that's stupid!
You must have heard some of it! No way!
She just had one of those voices and used long photographic words.
It was warm in there, and I just nodded off.
Well, I'll give him such a great night when we get back. He deserves it.
So many people have been down on him. I'm not talking about sex.
We're almost here. Where's he got to?
He's been in the loo for ages. What's he doing in there?
It's in the middle ground that photographers like Will
have their aspirations focussed on the distance depth of field,
that will, with luck and reasonable light, develop into a perfectly exposed future.
- I'm not coming out! - What's happened?
- Nothing! - Let me in!
- Go away! - I've got my car here so I'll...
I'm not leaving you here! I'm not leaving him!
Good, but I've only got a 10-hour ticket, and they'll wheel-clamp me.
- Chief, is this your sleeve? - Yes, it is.
- I found it on the floor. - Thank you very much.
Are we moving?
Yes, we are.